I did it y’all, I achieved my dream and as of August 14, 2020, I graduated from Brookline College with Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Before we get to celebrating, let me share a little bit about what got me there.
For those that are reading for the first time, I attempted nursing school once before and I became pregnant with my miracle baby. After a fragile pregnancy, I decided to pump the breaks on nursing school when 6 months later, God bless us with Ella. I didn’t want to miss a moment, so I opted to wait until Ella turned one to return to school. In December 2018, I worked up the nerve at went back to Brookline and spoke to the Dean about a clearance letter to prove I left in good standing to start the process of finishing my schooling. Much to my surprise our conversation turned into an invite to finish where I left off. Low and behold, I found myself in nursing’s orientation for the second go round in April 2019. Scraping all I could through loans, grants and tuition reimbursement, God made it happen. I observed my first semester back. Meaning, did all the work and got no credit for it- but I didn’t have to pay and I gained refreshment if material I had missed over the last four years during my break.
My family really pitched in and helped my little fam bam in every way possible- tirelessly losing time and sleep to help me get through. Never once did they charge me, complain or made me feel bad.
I reconnected with my dad in January of 2020 to learn that he had stage four lung cancer and had fallen ill. I went to see him in NM and sure enough, we set up all the end of life paperwork and started making arrangements. By March, the COVID 19 pandemic reared its ugly head and resources were limited in dads living and traveling situation. Therefore, we invited him to live with us and on Saint Patrick’s Day, I made a surprise trip to pick him up. He was so happy. He continued to live with us as part of our lil unit. I took him to all his appointments and cared for him as he got to know his grandchildren and children more. He went on hospice after he decided to end treatment and one short week later- he was gone. His passing was traumatic, I was alone in the street and watched the careless, snarky paramedics in their attempt to resuscitate him though he had paperwork in place stating do not resuscitate. After a call to the hospice nurse and pleading with them to stop as I showed them the legal documents- they stopped and took him to the hospital where he was pronounced. The last time I saw my dad he was being pumped on and stabbed in the leg with epinephrine in the back of an ambulance. Sadly, I carried out his wishes and made all of the arrangements for cremation. During this time, I carried on with finals and finished the semester strong at home as all my studies had been transferred online. In June, I came down with bilateral pneumonia which took me out til the end of July. Still, I carried on with my studies. I was bound and determined to graduate on time. As of August 14, 2020, I made it! I proved to those who said I’d never make it- that this AJ girl did it! I was sad dad missed this moment. He wanted to be there (maybe he was). I posted on his FB page that day as well as other days I missed him the most. Having cancer gave my dad a chance at a true sober life and a chance to mend the relationships he had ruined in the past (ours included). I continued to love him with limits until we made peace and loved him limitlessly until his passing and thereafter. My heart still grieves but my mind is at peace knowing his pain and suffering are over. The thoughts and memories I have of him are with me constantly.
Hold your loved ones close.
<3 Peace!
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