My unwavering mind travels these days. So much to think about and it's keeping me uneasy most days. It makes it easy to drift off to sleep to escape the constant worry and thought, but that never solves anything. So I try my hardest to pick up the pieces, write a to do list, and push forward with my day. I try to make each day as productive as my 20w2d pregnant body with let me. Some days I get alot done and others, I barely put a dent in what needs to be done. I am limited to what I can lift, which makes it hard to clean the house and organize things. Put the bins in the basement, do the laminate flooring, get my maternity clothes down from clothes storage, put ceiling fans up. Often times, I feel as if I don't do it, it doesn't get done. Both frustrating and disappointing.
I had a breakthrough in church tonight. Evi and I have been going to a new church for about a month now. I enjoy the style of it. I enjoy the traditional hymns, the biblical talks and the company that is kept. Evi also has a nursery playmate around her age. The last few days, there is been a visiting team in town, The Galkin Team. It was enjoyable to sit through and hear the message twice on Sunday and again tonight. The pastor was entertaining and the team played beautiful hymns and Irish folk music. It reminded me alot of my moms Irish roots. I had asked boy to go and he refused, which was saddening. When Evi was born, we agreed we would go to church, as a family, to raise her in good morals and values. During the talk, the pastor preached about righteousness and trusting in Jesus. He gave alot of examples about how no one is perfect and about how we all sin and to ask for forgiveness. It made me reflect on the many imperfections in my life and I couldn't stop the wheels from turning. I engaged in a conversation toward the tale end of the service and the water gates of emotion began to flood me and I spoke with an individual about a few of the ways my life has ended up where it has and the decisions leading up to that. It wasn't something I expected on doing, it just came out surprisingly. I felt a little embarrassed as I headed home, thinking of the events that unfolded.
We found out Baby Randall #2 is a GIRL! It was a shocker to all but a few, PawPaw, Grandpa Mike and Auntie Anna. As the day unfolded, I kept looking to boy to see what he thought about for names. I mentioned Ellie and we agreed on Ella Evangeline-Grace Randall. Grace comes from the girls' only living great grandmother. He acted tired and distant all day, complete bummer. I still can't feel the baby, though I am more fluffy this time around. I have gained nearly ten pounds so far. Ultrasound was normal and we saw alot of movements during that time. The baby was like her older sister. The legs were crossed underneath her bottom, but the veteran ultrasound tech of 20 years assured us, there was no mistake... those were girl parts. She also had her hands by the face the whole time, another similarity to Evi. I scored a double stroller of OfferUp today! BabyTrend Sit to Stand Plus which will allow me to be more mobile while Miss Ella comes ;) God is always providing what we need. Since the baby is a girl, there is little to buy. The most we need is diapers and a few baby gates. All in all, life is good.
