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For those who don't know already, I was in a car accident with the girls in Claypool on the way home from lunch. I had a medical emergency and passed out while I was driving. I was heading East towards Globe. My car hopped the median and spun crashing into a chain link fence. My car was facing west on the opposite side of the road when it was over. I was unconscious and once I regained consciousness, the ambulance took Evi and I to the Cobre Valley ER and Ella was flown to Phoenix Childrens Hospital. The girls and I are ok now, testing shows everyone is doing ok. No broken bones, just a totaled car. We are all a bit sore. TYJ for looking out for my little family. Christine Duarte and Christina Sanez was among the first responders, who looked after my beautiful babies when I couldn’t. Shout out to Braxton Bittner EMS and Stephanie RN, Joseph- imaging Dr. Alexander, and Brittany NP at Cobre Valley Medical Center. Along with our friends and family who reached out or showed up for us. Biggest shout out to Martin for always being my #1. We are blessed beyond measure.

A motor vehicle accident. ER Medical Evaluation. Masses found. Fear. Formed a health care team. GI. Pulmonary. Cardiology. Endocrinology. GU. Tears. Lung nodule- ruled out. Thyroid biopsy- benign. Uterine “polyp”- unknown. Unknown. Unknown is how I’ve lived my life since 5/17/25. Faith is what has kept me going. Ovarian cyst. Abnormal bleeding for months. Surgery.

Going from someone who hardly sees a doctor to having to see them constantly, it’s been a huge adjustment. Seems like every week I have been on the phone, making appointments, following up with insurance, doing testing and procedures putting my health first so I can be around for my family. 

Today, I have surgery to remove and test the uterine polyp and lining. At best, it comes back benign and I continue onto a total hysterectomy to prevent the chances of abnormal clotting and bleeding in the future. Alternatively, I have been told if it comes back malignant, I will have to consult with a gynecologist oncologist for next steps. 

Pretty big conversation. More fear. More tears. 

No one ever wants to hear about or talk about the dreaded “C” word- Cancer. It is awkward to talk about. I don’t want sympathy or people to treat me differently or tread around lightly. I don’t want to tell everyone the truth when they ask how I am doing or feeling so I say I’m fine. Just fine. Cancer has pleaged the women of my maternal side in various forms for years, making me a likely candidate. I feel blessed to have dodged 2/3 scares and now that we are down to the last scare, I just want to get it over with and know to unknown. My nurse midwife and GU doctor moved swiftly. Appreciated. 

All the while, going through my internal topsy turvy emotional roller coaster, I’ve tried to keep things normal for my children and keep home life as normal as possible. They have no clue. “Mom is just going to a doctors appointment again”. They’ll never know. 

Impending doom is real. Really makes you think about your life and wonder if you are living like you a dying as the song goes. Am I living my best life? Regrets? 

In short, I am and always will until I can’t anymore. 

Wish me luck…

Peace <3

Tribe

One of the oddest things that people ask when trying to get to know another is, what do you do for a living? You’re profession does not define you. Let’s say it louder for the people in the back… YOUR PROFESSION DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. It is a piece for who you are but at the end of the day (retirement) it will be the other pieces of you that will come together to make your life complete. Whether that be a Little League parent, 4-H leader, small business owner, chicken momma, kitchen arts lover, homestead follower, Copper Cities Player, friend of the library, adventurer, traveler, follower of Christ, Little sister, auntie, lover, friend, mommy- all of these pieces of who I am make up so much more then just who I am at work. Granted , I have an important job that I’ve worked hard for, but I alway have friends and family that love and care about me regardless of what I do for a living. That, to me, makes me the richest gal in the world. Through my triumphs and failures, one thing remains… I still have love in my life. 

Thankfully, that was not the main question I was asked when my tribe found me, instead we celebrate each other, bring our strengths to the table and help each other when ever possible. In speaking with a local friend the other day she mentioned  “wholesome people that never expect anything in return” and that is literally what it is. A rare find this day in age. 

My advice… choose your peace and find that kind of tribe in life. You won’t regret it. 

Reinvention and Roots

Since my last post, things have spun into a whole new season of my life. Since making my big career change into the school environment, I have been able to make my children my focus and along the way find my sense of belonging within a community I had felt so distant from for so many years. 

Library Friends

It all started with our local libraries, our involvement in programming and the beautiful friends we’ve made along the way. What started as me pushing through social anxiety and barely making attendance turned into me actually wanting to attend and show my children what community involvement can be. Soon I noticed the same group of friends coming to programming, and shortly after we all kind of became friends. What happened is sort of an accident, became some thing I never knew I needed. A sense of friendship in a place that was so lonely for so long.

4-H

Through networking with the library, I reconnected with one of my old youth organizations from my childhood. I met a wonderful leader, who encouraged me to sign the girls up. Some of my greatest childhood memories were being involved in 4H in my small community of Bluewater, New Mexico. I loved the country feel and the feeling I got from being involved in it as a child. Soon after the girls were attending meetings, I began helping as a parent. Soon after that, more networking started happening and I became a 4H volunteer and leader with the farm to table group. Another leader took me under her wing, and gave me more and more insight into a community I had set aside for many years. Not to mention the great friendships that come along with it. The kids are absolutely amazing and I love making a difference in our community. Having the girls in 4H has given them a sense of local community and friendships they will keep with them for their lifetime.

Home Sweet Home Wholesome Goods and the Globe Miami Farmers Market 

As an original idea from our library friends, we had planned to set up a table at the farmers market to show the kids what it means to be involved in the community and to earn your own money. What began as a simple, lemonade idea turned into a business, community involvement, entrepreneurship, community connections, and networking and something very fun to do with the girls. Using what I knew from the farm to table kind of life, I started to make jams, fruit, butters, and baked goods as well as sell nest run eggs from our backyard chickens. We partnered with a friend who has a farm and a cousin of ours to bring new and exciting products to our table.The girls got to see first hand how the many local products are produced from backyard gardens and farm animals. They also got to know vendors in our community and got to talk to many customers along the way. When I wasn’t baking or canning for inventory, Ella learned how to make jam and entered a canned jar of peach jam into the Gila County Fair where she won a first place blue ribbon! 

Family

Having my mom and sister move out of state threw me through a mixed ball of feelings I didn’t quite know how to cope with at first. While I was happy for them in their new and exciting adventures, I was also very lonely without them to hang out with at a moments notice. I didn’t want to burden them with sad calls. Being in that season, prompted my evolvement and created something healthy and promising in me and my family. 

I have my little ladies to thank for that. 

I run off of opportunities and raw energy most days but I also see the childhood memories my children are making and it fills my cup beyond measure. 

Creating something new can be downright terrifying but taking the chance has been 100% worth it. My babies have roots in a community they love and the community loves them (and me). 

These are our people. This is our home. Peace <3.

This Little Light of Mine

 So, I took a leap, landed my dream RN position and life happened. 

As much as I yearned for passion and excitement and the will to accomplish great things in the Operating Room, tragedy stuck that affected me personally and physically in ways a couldn’t have ever imagined possible, leading to heightened anxiety attacks and my need to make a sudden exit from an area of nursing I imagine retiring in. The OR gave me all the feels and thrills any new grad with wide eyes would ever imagine. I walked in daily with wide eyes and disbelief that such an opportunity had been presented to me. I was on cloud nine! I left with my spirit crushed and questioning my place in the nursing profession altogether. I had felt I pushed those closest to me away, trying to chase my dream while they needed me the most and man, did that weigh heavy in my soul. Just like that, a light bulb turned on in the depths of my mind and screamed- they need you. I picked up my children that day realizing a babysitter had been seeing them more than I had. Something tore within me. This wasn’t the mother I had ever wanted to be. For reasons I will not disclose here, I realized my OR days were over. 

Through my college clinical mentor I was able to apply and hire into a job that not only gave me the confidence and healing time I needed but allowed me to be the mom and partner I needed to be. I ventured off into an area of nursing I have never imagined going into while I was in college but if I think about it, it was my basis of becoming a nurse when I was in high school. Pediatrics. More specifically, school nursing. When I dreamt about what I wanted to be when I grew up in high school, I was always drawn to school nursing since I had a front row view as a senior office aide. Through my career, I always cared for adults and never imagined it any other way. While I did well caring for children in the hospital during clinicals, I knew that wasn’t the place I saw myself. Nearing the end of my nursing school journey, I was given the opportunity to shadow an elementary school nurse. Life changing. I was amazed by the change from the hospital setting to the public health setting. As I learned the perks and overall flow of the job, I could easily see myself in that environment. I left the clinical experience with a mentor and a friend and a contact for her director if “it happened to be an interest”. 

Needless to say, it became an interest once I realized the hospital was not an option to maintain my work-life balance at the time. I interviewed with an elementary school and was offered the position on the way home! In shock and glee, I accepted. I went from being looked down upon and brought down to being in charge of my own office with the kindest coworkers, parents and students I would ever have imagined having. Being the only nurse in my environment, the famous “eat your young” nursing mentality was no where to be seen, I was supported and lifted up by my superiors and I am so grateful they took a chance on me. My college mentor became my coworker and work mentor. I became a present person at home, with my family and enjoyed my time off during things I wanted to do instead of things I thought I had to do to prep for my workday. The added time off let me rest and the smaller healthcare team allowed me to strengthen my leadership training into skills and daily practice. I share the same schedule with my children; they go to school with me and they come home with me. This makes me present 100% of the time and no more babysitting except for the occasional date night. I get to spend every moment with them, making memories and living our best life. I get to be the library mom and the 4H mom; leading me to make my own local friends too. As previously mentioned, life changing. My clientele is amazing and I truly enjoy caring for them, especially having my little people there as well. 

So for those wondering why the shift, why the happy OR posts to the happy School RN posts… I chose life, I chose peace, I chose work-life balance. Never settle, chose your happy. Life choices make all the difference.

Until next time, peace ✌🏻!

I Aspire to Be YOU

I aspire to be you... these are words I would often mutter to myself as I walked into the community college I took my pre requisite courses for the nursing program as I saw nursing students on campus. I thought oh just to be to that level. Kinda like when you’re a freshman looking upto a senior in high school. 

Then, I revisited my prior private college and low and behold, I was accepted into my former nursing program... and I was THAT nursing student.

After I graduated, I saw those who were passing their nursing boards in the same light... I aspire to be you. I worked hard and studied non stop. After shortcoming one test, I made it on my second attempt. I was a Registered Nurse. 

I feel into a new grad position in my department at work which gave me a great start to my nursing journey. All the while, I would see RN circulators. Again, I heard myself saying, I aspire to be you. 

Today, I was offered my nursing dream. I will be the newest OR circulator with my community hospital in July.

I aspired, I worked hard, I dreamt and went out on a whim outside of my comfort level. I took chances and prevailed. 

My career dreams became reality with the grace of God and good people. 

2020: The Year of Perspective

2020- the year of perspective: the first thing most people say about 2020 is how awful it was. Did it have its challenges, sure! I was taught to adapt and overcome in my life and it’s all about how you look at situations and how you react to them. Having faith in this pandemic has pulled our little family through. At the beginning of 2020, I was powering through my nursing program which meant me and my family were exhausted and torn between two homes and two cities, always traveling and my extended family was watching my kiddos more then I was able to spend with them. I was worn out and praying for relief while trying to see the finish line. My estranged dad had just revealed his stage four lung cancer diagnosis. I was constantly in conference with his docs and specialist in between lunch hours and breaks at school. I was torn in too many directions to count. Then, almost overnight in March- COVID-19 made its debut and shut down all in person learning and any physical contact in the world. With that, my in person nursing program turned virtual- I was able to be home full time. I was able to stop all traveling for school purposes, keep my family home, spent more time with my kiddos and was present for them again, give my extended family some much needed babysitting relief, bring my dad to my home to live and care for him in his last days and be present for doctors appointments. When dad passed in April, I was grateful to be supported by Jim Kommers, Aviant hospice and my family. Within this time, my family grew closer and we became stronger in our faith and made some good lifestyle changes. Sure- church, doctors appointments, birthdays, graduations and family gatherings looked very different through FaceTime or Zoom but how awesome is it that we have those technologies to keep present with one another. Vacation became a word we used in the future tense. We made home a place we enjoyed to be- not just somewhere we met at night and slept. In June, I contracted bilateral pneumonia r/t COVID-19, through the grace of God and good medicine, I was able to fight my month long fight at home in quarantine. Since I was home, I kept up with my excellerated nursing program and I graduated on time in August. Our pinning ceremony was a drive thru style,  but I’m grateful there was one- such an important rite of passage and I love looking at my lamp and pin in my shadow box on the wall. Graduation was on YouTube, but it felt awesome to get to recognition of so many early mornings, all nighters, blood, sweat and tears paid off. Shortly before the pandemic, I was able to do my last semester of clinicals with my department at work until I got sick. With that, I was offered an amazing opportunity to stay on as a new graduate nurse in my department once I passed my state board examination. Once I hurdled that, I started my job in December. I was blessed to have a job during a time when so many lost theirs. Being a front line worker has had its host of challenges from being mentally, physically exhausted with the shortage of staff, supplies and patient beds to being the one to witness the sadness, fear and loneliness to my patients who can’t have their loved ones there to help them heal or go on their journey to walk with Jesus when their bodies just can’t be as strong as they once were. It is a humbling experience. Being a COVID-19 nurse has been one of the most rewarding things I have experienced in my lifetime. I’ve sat with and took time listening while offering encouragement and hope, held hands and prayed with my patients (and families during last moments), gave hugs while in full respirator, gown, goggles, shield. In all this, I am blessed. I make a difference in lives. I work with a team that works their tooshies off and would have my back in a hot second. My other half who understands and works battling in the same environment. In a busy world with iso much going on, this pandemic brought my family closer together, at work and at home. God bless us and the experiences that have made us stronger in 2020 and to the hope that resides in 2021. Happy New Year, y’all.

A Smorgasburg of All Things 2021... So Far

New Years 2021 resolutions: live simply, love, grow, be humble, be kind, be understanding, think before I speak, listen. Seems like simple enough words to live by but each day I challenge myself to be the change in the world I hope for. Each day is an opportunity to change things for the better. If COVID-19 had taught us anything in 2020, it was to cherish the relationships that mean most in life, that things are just that- things and it’s doesn’t cost a thing to be a decent human being. What makes me comfortable- home family goals living within my means. 

Dad-trauma alive and dead: you know those dreams that just seem too real to life. Well I had one in January. It was one where dad came to visit me and he told me to get up and go get his jeep. Man, it was like I could feel the breath on my neck. Everything was so darn real. Needless to say, I woke up in a sweat and I made some real last-minute plans for U-Haul trailer and an oil change and we were on the road to New Mexico where his jeep was being stored. It was a long process to get the title transferred into my name since COVID-19 pretty much shut down all in person MVD services, but after much persistence and a few times of resending paperwork, I can now say that the jeep is in my name and safe for the girls. It will be a restoration project as the miles are high and the transmission needs replacing but oh how it will shine back to its glory days by the time the girls get old enough to drive to school. When we picked it up I touch the seatbelt and man I swear I could see dad bouncing around from lake to lake and camping wherever his heart desired. He even had a small barbecue in the back. When I touch the seatbelt I could not help but break down in tears knowing what traveling meant to him. Shortly afterwards we planned his end of life trip back to New Mexico and spread his ashes over Bluewater lake as he desired. We had a virtual service with a small gathering to commemorate his memory. Every since then I’ve felt a sense of peace and little less grief since dads been laid to rest. 

Being a mom of two preschoolers has been simply amazing- from the homemade drawings to the new discoveries I bear witness to when they subtly reveal what they’ve learned in school and how they’ve developed over the last year, despite restrictions due to the pandemic- they prevailed. These little wee ones are fierce and capable of most anything they put their minds to. Oh for the love and motivation of these babes. Look out world.

Church life looked very different since the pandemic rolled out. We’ve streamed online more then most aside from Christmas service to keep from being in a crowded room full of maskless folks and to grow together in our home unit. The girls sing and dance to the music and they even enjoy listening to our pastor during his sermons. Jesus inspires and drives us as a family. He helps us grow closer and live together with love, kindness and most of all- understanding. Do we have disagreements, sure. With Jesus’ loving forgiveness, we challenge ourselves to love and forgive like Jesus did. While our physical worship community has been absent, our home worship is alive and strong.

New friendships and challenges to creating new relationships: it has been a secret that I have struggled making friends in Globe. But I do have an amazing group of friends that I have gained through work. I enjoy their company and I enjoy how we do things together, go through seasons together, support  one another. It is a great feeling. Can’t wait to let you in on all the fun things we have planned this year.

Careerwise, I have written out my five year plan. The details of this are yet to be revealed and who knows maybe they may never be revealed. I don’t like to count my chickens before they hatch, but it gives me something to look forward to. It gives me faith and hope. It gives me motivation. This section is a story for another future post.

I saved one of the most exciting pieces of news for last, Martin starting nursing school in August! I am very excited that he has chosen to do something for himself and that he has chosen a career that keeps giving. Being a nurse is one of the best things that I chose to do for myself and my family.