Reinvention and Roots

Since my last post, things have spun into a whole new season of my life. Since making my big career change into the school environment, I have been able to make my children my focus and along the way find my sense of belonging within a community I had felt so distant from for so many years. 

Library Friends

It all started with our local libraries, our involvement in programming and the beautiful friends we’ve made along the way. What started as me pushing through social anxiety and barely making attendance turned into me actually wanting to attend and show my children what community involvement can be. Soon I noticed the same group of friends coming to programming, and shortly after we all kind of became friends. What happened is sort of an accident, became some thing I never knew I needed. A sense of friendship in a place that was so lonely for so long.

4-H

Through networking with the library, I reconnected with one of my old youth organizations from my childhood. I met a wonderful leader, who encouraged me to sign the girls up. Some of my greatest childhood memories were being involved in 4H in my small community of Bluewater, New Mexico. I loved the country feel and the feeling I got from being involved in it as a child. Soon after the girls were attending meetings, I began helping as a parent. Soon after that, more networking started happening and I became a 4H volunteer and leader with the farm to table group. Another leader took me under her wing, and gave me more and more insight into a community I had set aside for many years. Not to mention the great friendships that come along with it. The kids are absolutely amazing and I love making a difference in our community. Having the girls in 4H has given them a sense of local community and friendships they will keep with them for their lifetime.

Home Sweet Home Wholesome Goods and the Globe Miami Farmers Market 

As an original idea from our library friends, we had planned to set up a table at the farmers market to show the kids what it means to be involved in the community and to earn your own money. What began as a simple, lemonade idea turned into a business, community involvement, entrepreneurship, community connections, and networking and something very fun to do with the girls. Using what I knew from the farm to table kind of life, I started to make jams, fruit, butters, and baked goods as well as sell nest run eggs from our backyard chickens. We partnered with a friend who has a farm and a cousin of ours to bring new and exciting products to our table.The girls got to see first hand how the many local products are produced from backyard gardens and farm animals. They also got to know vendors in our community and got to talk to many customers along the way. When I wasn’t baking or canning for inventory, Ella learned how to make jam and entered a canned jar of peach jam into the Gila County Fair where she won a first place blue ribbon! 

Family

Having my mom and sister move out of state threw me through a mixed ball of feelings I didn’t quite know how to cope with at first. While I was happy for them in their new and exciting adventures, I was also very lonely without them to hang out with at a moments notice. I didn’t want to burden them with sad calls. Being in that season, prompted my evolvement and created something healthy and promising in me and my family. 

I have my little ladies to thank for that. 

I run off of opportunities and raw energy most days but I also see the childhood memories my children are making and it fills my cup beyond measure. 

Creating something new can be downright terrifying but taking the chance has been 100% worth it. My babies have roots in a community they love and the community loves them (and me). 

These are our people. This is our home. Peace <3.

This Little Light of Mine

 So, I took a leap, landed my dream RN position and life happened. 

As much as I yearned for passion and excitement and the will to accomplish great things in the Operating Room, tragedy stuck that affected me personally and physically in ways a couldn’t have ever imagined possible, leading to heightened anxiety attacks and my need to make a sudden exit from an area of nursing I imagine retiring in. The OR gave me all the feels and thrills any new grad with wide eyes would ever imagine. I walked in daily with wide eyes and disbelief that such an opportunity had been presented to me. I was on cloud nine! I left with my spirit crushed and questioning my place in the nursing profession altogether. I had felt I pushed those closest to me away, trying to chase my dream while they needed me the most and man, did that weigh heavy in my soul. Just like that, a light bulb turned on in the depths of my mind and screamed- they need you. I picked up my children that day realizing a babysitter had been seeing them more than I had. Something tore within me. This wasn’t the mother I had ever wanted to be. For reasons I will not disclose here, I realized my OR days were over. 

Through my college clinical mentor I was able to apply and hire into a job that not only gave me the confidence and healing time I needed but allowed me to be the mom and partner I needed to be. I ventured off into an area of nursing I have never imagined going into while I was in college but if I think about it, it was my basis of becoming a nurse when I was in high school. Pediatrics. More specifically, school nursing. When I dreamt about what I wanted to be when I grew up in high school, I was always drawn to school nursing since I had a front row view as a senior office aide. Through my career, I always cared for adults and never imagined it any other way. While I did well caring for children in the hospital during clinicals, I knew that wasn’t the place I saw myself. Nearing the end of my nursing school journey, I was given the opportunity to shadow an elementary school nurse. Life changing. I was amazed by the change from the hospital setting to the public health setting. As I learned the perks and overall flow of the job, I could easily see myself in that environment. I left the clinical experience with a mentor and a friend and a contact for her director if “it happened to be an interest”. 

Needless to say, it became an interest once I realized the hospital was not an option to maintain my work-life balance at the time. I interviewed with an elementary school and was offered the position on the way home! In shock and glee, I accepted. I went from being looked down upon and brought down to being in charge of my own office with the kindest coworkers, parents and students I would ever have imagined having. Being the only nurse in my environment, the famous “eat your young” nursing mentality was no where to be seen, I was supported and lifted up by my superiors and I am so grateful they took a chance on me. My college mentor became my coworker and work mentor. I became a present person at home, with my family and enjoyed my time off during things I wanted to do instead of things I thought I had to do to prep for my workday. The added time off let me rest and the smaller healthcare team allowed me to strengthen my leadership training into skills and daily practice. I share the same schedule with my children; they go to school with me and they come home with me. This makes me present 100% of the time and no more babysitting except for the occasional date night. I get to spend every moment with them, making memories and living our best life. I get to be the library mom and the 4H mom; leading me to make my own local friends too. As previously mentioned, life changing. My clientele is amazing and I truly enjoy caring for them, especially having my little people there as well. 

So for those wondering why the shift, why the happy OR posts to the happy School RN posts… I chose life, I chose peace, I chose work-life balance. Never settle, chose your happy. Life choices make all the difference.

Until next time, peace ✌🏻!